My Isaiah Joseph,

Last night was a tough one for Lucas. After he got off the phone with daddy, he said that he “couldn’t live like this anymore” and was “going to kill himself”. He woke up absolutely fine this morning, but I will be having him go to the guidance counselor tomorrow. He’s said the first part before more times than I can keep track of, but never added the second part.

I decided to “check-out” from the world today, pretty much stayed off my phone, and oddly took control of the most random things that I could. I had to take your siblings to Five Below because Ellie insisted they needed these ridiculous dumpling squishies that honestly, smelled like gasoline. After that, we went to get a few things for my hundred day outfit and I bought a lot of cleaning supplies.

For whatever reason, polishing the stainless steel appliances, dusting baseboards, and polishing wood floors is what I needed to do today to keep me sane. I don’t think I completely cleaned one entire room, but instead did a whole bunch of random things in four or five rooms.

We did have a little surprise of a bird being in the house when we came home from the store. I have no idea how it got it and when Elijah said, “umm, there’s a bird in the house” I thought he was just joking. However, he was telling the truth. Luckily, Lucas has seemed to step in to the bug/animal saver role and tried to catch the bird. I opened the back door and backed away and watched Lucas lure the bird to the door and back outside.

I was excited to work tomorrow for the 100th day of school and had my outfit all ready to go, but learned tonight that as a teacher, I shouldn’t dress up. Unfortunately, I didn’t know this and don’t have time to randomly glue 100 things to a shirt or anything like that. Perhaps I will just go to the mall early one morning in my attire and speed walk South Hills Village with the other mall walkers to get some use out of my whole getup.

I don’t know how to describe what’s going on, but keep an eye on Lucas. I love you more than anything, baby boy, goodnight and sweet dreams.