My sweet boy,

Today we hit the one year mark of being in Pittsburgh. I wish I could go back and tell the version of me who was terrified about the future that it would all be “okay”. It hasn’t been easy, it hasn’t always felt like “home”, the house is still not completely unpacked and put together, and I still feel like I have no idea what’s happening.

I’ve proven to myself that I can handle everything I need to, but it’s just exhausting. I have in no way figured out how to balance my time or my needs yet. I’ve felt like an imposter or someone who just got thrown here and was told to “blend in”, but never will.

Who knows what the next year will bring, but I made it through this one. Now if your brothers could actually sleep, maybe I would be more rested. I’m going to get some sleep, baby. I miss you more than anything and I miss that beautiful island. I love you so much, sweetie. Goodnight and sweet dreams.