My sweet boy,

Elijah went back to school today and I was back at work. I got to be in kindergarten, which was pure chaos, as always. One of the kids in the afternoon class made a comment about how when their actual teacher is there, they aren’t nearly as crazy as when they have a sub. That’s how it goes, even though I’ve been in their class over ten times this year.

Your siblings talked me into getting Kennywood passes again this summer. I originally didn’t want to get them because the price definitely increased from last year and the crazy increase annoyed me. However, they absolutely loved it and have talked about it since the last time we went. I was so thankful I got the passes last year, so hopefully the same thing happens this year. The park actually already opened up, so they are bugging me to go this Saturday.

Yesterday in therapy, my therapist said something about getting back on track with the EDMR. I was talking to her about the flashbacks of that morning. I was also telling her about the regrets of not running down the hallway to the OR doors to give you another kiss, because they said we had to leave you at the elevator doors. She pointed out that if it wasn’t that, it would have been something else. I never would have had enough of you. I never would have been okay with just letting go.

It’s the end of the Month of the Military Child and this is the first year I haven’t really said anything. I guess I don’t necessarily consider you guys military kids anymore because we aren’t directly in that lifestyle anymore. The strength that the four of you had from growing up in that lifestyle was amazing to see. The way you guys adapted to new places and to new people was something to be admired.

I love you more than anything in the world, my baby boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams.