My sweet boy,

Happy Valentine’s Day! Today hardly went how I thought it would and we didn’t get out to give your stuff away.

Elijah was up all night getting sick and it spread through the house today. The poor kid has never thrown up outside of being an infant, so this was a horrible time for him. He was screaming to nobody about how it was taking too long and he just wanted to go to bed. I’m not sure if you heard me ask you and you helped him, but Elijah managed to only get sick in the provided garbage can so it was a huge “mom win”.

I didn’t sleep with you squishmallow or Arg last night since Elijah was in my bed. I didn’t want to chance Elijah getting sick on them and then somehow they’d get ruined. I’ve snuggled with them every night since we got back from the hospital without you.

Tonight while Elijah was lying next to me, I was running my fingers through his hair and just staring at his head and I guess you could say that was the first time I “felt you”. It was a complete flashback to when I laid next to you in the hospital that week and did the same thing, but it was more than a flashback. I felt you, but maybe I’m reading too much into it.

The kids declared today the worst Valentine’s Day ever considering you’re not here, we lost Apollo, dad is in Hawaii, and everyone is sick. It’ll go down in their memory’s for the rest of their lives.

I love you more than anything, my sweet boy. Goodnight and sweet dreams, my valentine.