Hi my baby,

Hi my baby,

We went to the beach and swam in the ocean twice today, just like yesterday. Lucas actually wanted to go in another time, but it was getting dark and I didn’t like that. The waves are decently big over here during high tide because we are on the North Shore and it’s “winter” waves. You’d love it here. I wish I would have known about this beach while you were still here with us.

I made your siblings come and do some yoga with me. Ellie was all for it, the boys just came along because they had to. However, it was “sleepy yoga” and we just laid there while someone played sound bowls. Elijah was the most relaxed because he fell asleep. Ellie and Lucas did okay at the beginning, but at one point I looked up at them to see them playing rock, paper, scissors. I would have probably been a lot more relaxed without them there, but I’m thankful they came and tried it with me.

We had a bonfire and dance party tonight. Ellie and Elijah danced their hearts out and Lucas sat on the bench because dancing in front of people isn’t really his thing. Elijah did his amazing breakdancing he always does. Watching him dance is exactly like watching Miss Brittany’s Lucas dance. Remember how Lucas would get super serious and really into whatever he was doing? Elijah does that too. I’ve had a dance battle with Miss Brittany’s Lucas before at soccer practice, he’s too good for me. We had glow necklaces, glow bracelets, and glow glasses. Before the dancing started though, we made s’mores. I was not planning on having any s’mores, I wanted to make sure all the kids had what they wanted. However, I still ended up eating s’mores because Lucas burned his marshmallows too much and thought it was gross, Elijah just decided he was done, and then Lucas “made me one”, but in reality I think he just really wanted to roast more marshmallows. The best part of Lucas giving me his rejected ones is the fact that he was playing in the dirt for ten minutes before making these s’mores. He never washed his hands, full palms down in the dirt.

I left the bonfire a little earlier because the boys were done and ready to go back to the room to go to sleep. On our way back, Lucas yelled that we needed to run before the guy shot the cannon. It wasn’t a cannon though, it was a huge telescope someone was using. I went up and asked him if he would mind letting us see anything since Lucas is obsessed with space and he was nice enough to show us. He showed us the moon and then Saturn. I’m pretty sure it was one of the best days of Lucas’ life. It was pretty awesome though.

I haven’t taken any pictures here. I’ve pretty much left my phone in our room the whole time. I’m okay with it though. Not because you’re not here though, I don’t feel that here. Maybe I don’t feel it because you are the reason I’m here? I sit down in front of your picture and just talk. I talk about you here easily because I feel like these people really get me. I’ve been trying to be a little more “present” during this trip too and not having my phone makes that a lot easier.

I’m exhausted though, my baby. I’m sorry. It’s late, your siblings don’t sleep, and the constant emotional toll is just tiring. I love you so much, sweetheart. Goodnight and sweet dreams.